The 'I know It Well' Attitude
I don't know if you have been in a situation like mine but my experience has taught me one or two lessons: 'Do Not Judge' and 'Mind Your Own Business". It is almost two years down the line since I lost my lovely son at birth. This is the time just like any expectant mother you are waiting for your bundle of joy. You have been praying day and night and as a first time expectant mother you are full of anxiety and at the same looking forward to having this wonderful gift. I had heard about the ordeal of labour pains but I knew and confessed that I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). I prayed and declared the Word of God related to labour and delivery. My labour pains were painful from the word 'go' and 23 hours down the line the cervix could not open beyond 6cm. In fact I had started bleeding and emergency caeserian was the only solution to save the situation. The surgery went on successful but my baby boy did not make it.
Now that is just the preliminary and not what exactly I need to talk about. It was what followed after that, that is of interest. People trying to get to the bottom of what happened. Others who seemed to know more than you who underwent the whole process talking and spreading stories. I had a lot of nonesense comments that were not helping and I am sure some of you have undergone through the same either in the same situation or a different one. The following were some of the comments people gave:
'She must have gone to a bad hospital"
"Her doctor neglected her"
"What kind of hospitals do people go to"
"Next time you need to go earlier enough"
"There must be something wrong in the family line"
"That's what happens when you give a baby a name before being born"
Blah Blah Blah Blah----
(See also: Christian Women Should Never Marry These Men)
Another day I meant a certain woman who worked with my husband. My husband introduced us and this was several months down the line. So the woman said 'I heard what happened to you, next time you go to the hospital early enough'. I asked myself , 'Who told her I didn't go to the hospital earlier enough?" "Does she think my stupidity brought me grieve?"
Every comment hurt and pierced my heart. This was because I was the one with the real story and not the assumptions people made. They were judging me too much and all I needed was words of comfort. Sometimes I was tempted to pray that God makes them go through what I went through so that they can learn a lesson by their own situation but then I realized no one regardless of how foolish they may be deserved to go through what I went through.
But as I prayed I asked God to forgive them and started cutting them off spiritually. I asked God to disconnect me from anyone with an intention of commenting negatively to my situation. I asked God to teach me something in all these and one thing I learnt is that we don't have to dig into people's situations to find out what happened. Poking your nose too much into people's businesses and giving akward comments makes you look proud. It is like saying , 'I am the best and not her'. It is like looking down on that person. It is like also saying " I know too well of her situation than herself', or 'If I was in her shoes' I would have done it better.
You look foolish with your 'I know it well' attitude because God is always in control of peoples life. Who said bad things don't happen to good people. Does it always have to involve people.
To cut this story short God sent two of His servants , male and female who did not know each other and visited me different times with a message from God. The male servant of God said God had sent him to me with a message, "That what happened was the doing of a man, it was not the doing of the devil but it was His doing. And that it was o.k to cry and trust in Him". After several weeks a female servant of God called and said she had a message from God to deliver and came over. The same message was delivered, "What happened was not the doing of a man, neither was it the devil's doing. It was my doing' says God, and that great plans for her".
Now that is just the preliminary and not what exactly I need to talk about. It was what followed after that, that is of interest. People trying to get to the bottom of what happened. Others who seemed to know more than you who underwent the whole process talking and spreading stories. I had a lot of nonesense comments that were not helping and I am sure some of you have undergone through the same either in the same situation or a different one. The following were some of the comments people gave:
'She must have gone to a bad hospital"
"Her doctor neglected her"
"What kind of hospitals do people go to"
"Next time you need to go earlier enough"
"There must be something wrong in the family line"
"That's what happens when you give a baby a name before being born"
Blah Blah Blah Blah----
(See also: Christian Women Should Never Marry These Men)
Another day I meant a certain woman who worked with my husband. My husband introduced us and this was several months down the line. So the woman said 'I heard what happened to you, next time you go to the hospital early enough'. I asked myself , 'Who told her I didn't go to the hospital earlier enough?" "Does she think my stupidity brought me grieve?"
Every comment hurt and pierced my heart. This was because I was the one with the real story and not the assumptions people made. They were judging me too much and all I needed was words of comfort. Sometimes I was tempted to pray that God makes them go through what I went through so that they can learn a lesson by their own situation but then I realized no one regardless of how foolish they may be deserved to go through what I went through.
But as I prayed I asked God to forgive them and started cutting them off spiritually. I asked God to disconnect me from anyone with an intention of commenting negatively to my situation. I asked God to teach me something in all these and one thing I learnt is that we don't have to dig into people's situations to find out what happened. Poking your nose too much into people's businesses and giving akward comments makes you look proud. It is like saying , 'I am the best and not her'. It is like looking down on that person. It is like also saying " I know too well of her situation than herself', or 'If I was in her shoes' I would have done it better.
You look foolish with your 'I know it well' attitude because God is always in control of peoples life. Who said bad things don't happen to good people. Does it always have to involve people.
To cut this story short God sent two of His servants , male and female who did not know each other and visited me different times with a message from God. The male servant of God said God had sent him to me with a message, "That what happened was the doing of a man, it was not the doing of the devil but it was His doing. And that it was o.k to cry and trust in Him". After several weeks a female servant of God called and said she had a message from God to deliver and came over. The same message was delivered, "What happened was not the doing of a man, neither was it the devil's doing. It was my doing' says God, and that great plans for her".
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