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In What Way Should I Be My Husband's Helper?

 I Refuse to be a Stiff Neck.....

As I grew up my mum and grandmother were grooming my sister and I into being good wives. I remember when we didn't cook well they would say 'Is that how you will be cooking for your husbands? or 'Is that how you will be washing for your husbands?' and so on. So I grew up knowing we are born to help our husbands and with the surrounding culture women were and still are seen as helping a man to cook, take care of children, take care of the house, wash, among others.
I don't dispute this and I have decided to take up this role gladly and as I take care of my husband I believe I am doing it for God and my reward is coming. In the bible it is written:

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18, KJV).

So I asked God you did not specify what kind of help I am supposed to be to my husband. Is it just help at home? Is that the only help? What if he can take care of home can I be of help in some other way? As I asked various men why just help at home my brother-in-law gave me an answer many never did. He said 'Jane, it is because it is an area we need help most. It is an area we men have weakness in. You women are good at taking care of a home. If I come home from work and I am tired I will go to bed hungry because I have no more strength. But somehow you women are strong in this area'. I thought that answer made sense.

But he said it is an area they need help ' most', so what about other areas? And what are these other areas they may need help that no one is talking about. The dictionary meaning of a 'helper' is someone who assists or supports another person. To 'help' means to alleviate someone else' burden by giving assistance or cause improvement. I believe my husband may have many other areas that he needs support (help) besides house work. So I have learnt to let God expand my ability to support him in all other areas he may need assistance. I know he needs prayer so I support him by praying for him and with him. When he is down he needs someone to talk to and 'help' him rise up and I am always ready to do that. If his finances for a project are not enough and I have some saved somewhere I jump in and 'help'. If he is torn between a decision I am there to 'help' him find direction. If he needs to run errands or be in charge of a project on his behalf, then I should be willing to do that. Wives are their husbands' neck. So just like a neck supports the head I have chosen to support (help) my husband. A stiff neck means the head cannot move sideways. The neck needs to be flexible for the head to move freely. Likewise as my husband's neck I choose to be flexible with my support or help. I do not stick to one kind of help (house work), but I am flexible in all areas he may need help.

What is your take on this?

Related article: The Devine Role of a Woman as a Help Meet (Helper)
























Comments

  1. Anonymous25 March 2014 at 18:04

    I prays day and night to have a man who will accept my support. I always get proud men who "dont need" any support and i feels so bad. Im ever ready to be a helper in all areas, though im not married i like practising it when im in a relationship but........................... these men, may God help me.

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  2. Jane27 May 2014 at 08:38

    It can be frustrating sometimes when you try to give your help and no one needs it. It is better you do it in marriage because that is where you have committed yourself fully. And by the way you give help where is needed, and you have to offer it in a way that your husband doesn't think you are trying to take over his responsibility. You need to do it wisely.

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